The Heidi Monsloth - Heidi Montag
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Physical Characteristics - This blonde bombshell is a beast to be reckoned with. Her muscular arms allow her to cross the street at speeds measured at 2 inches a second! Look she’s coming towards us! Please hide all your shiny objects.
Mating Calls - Lately the Heidi Monsloth (Heidi Montag) has been practicing her mating call more frequently. Her latest screech is entitled “Fashion” which will make you question wonder why some people think that they can sing. If you’d like to hear what she sounds like, try crashing your car into a tree, lighting it on fire, then driving it. The noise your car makes after that is Track 2 off her new CD.
Natural Talents - None.
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