The David Hasselhorse - David Hasselhoff
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Physical Attributes - This critters strong legs allow him to run for hours. He sometimes can run on a beach for days without breaking a sweat. Recent studies indicate that his curley brown chest hair was used to develop the first ever Chia Pet.
Daily Diet - His daily diet consists of hay, barley and Colt 45’s. His favorite meal is a Wendy’s cheeseburger which he has been videotaped eating in his own vomit in front of a toilet.
Mating Calls - The David Hasselhorse (David Hasselhoff) has a variety of mating calls, however they only attract mates in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. His most famous mating call “Looking For Freedom,” reminds us of what it’s like to try to sing while you’re constipated.
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